Why “Doing All the Tools” Slows Down Trauma Healing
Many people come to trauma recovery highly motivated. They’ve read the books, watched the videos, listened to the podcasts. They’ve learned about EFT, nervous system regulation, somatic work, parts work, breathwork, meditation, journaling — sometimes all at once.
And very often, they do what makes perfect sense in a world that values effort and productivity:
They try to do everything,
do it perfectly,
do it intensely,
and do it fast —
with the unspoken hope that if they just apply themselves hard enough, healing will finally happen.
But trauma doesn’t heal through pressure.
And it certainly doesn’t heal through self-fixing.
When Tools Become Another Way to Override Yourself
On the surface, “doing the tools” looks healthy. But underneath, I often see something else at play:
A part that believes it must fix what’s wrong
A nervous system that feels unsafe slowing down
An urgency that says, “I can’t stay like this — I have to make this work”
When tools are used with that energy, they stop being supportive and start becoming another form of self-override:
Too much.
Too fast.
Too intense.
Too soon.
Instead of settling the nervous system, this approach often creates:
Frustration when healing doesn’t happen quickly enough
Shame when practices aren’t done “right”
Exhaustion and burnout
Confusion about why “nothing is working”
This isn’t a failure of the tools.
It’s a mismatch between how trauma heals and how we’ve been taught to approach change.
Trauma Heals Through Safety, Not Effort
Trauma recovery is not about checking boxes or stacking practices endlessly. It’s about helping the nervous system experience enough safety, in small enough doses, consistently enough that integration can occur.
Healing happens when:
The body isn’t being pushed
The system isn’t being flooded
The pace is slow enough to be felt
The work is responsive, not prescriptive
And this is exactly where many people get stuck on their own — not because they aren’t trying hard enough, but because they’re trying too hard.
Why Somatic Stacking Is Intentionally Curated
This is why, in my work, I don’t hand clients a long list of tools and tell them to “go practice.”
Instead, I use somatic stacking™ — a carefully curated, paced combination of practices designed specifically for your nervous system, history, and capacity.
Somatic stacking™ is different because:
You are not doing everything
You are not doing it all at once
You are not responsible for figuring out the “right” intensity
You are not expected to push through discomfort
Instead:
Each layer is chosen deliberately
Each practice has a clear purpose
Each step is introduced only when your system is ready
This removes the pressure to perform healing “correctly” and replaces it with relational safety — safety between you and your body, and safety within the healing process itself.
You Can’t Overdo It — Because It’s Built for You
One of the most important things clients tell me is this:
“For the first time, I’m not overwhelmed by healing.”
That’s not accidental. Somatic stacking™ is designed so that:
Your nervous system doesn’t get overloaded
You’re not constantly second-guessing yourself
You don’t spiral into “Am I doing enough?” or “Am I doing this wrong?”
The work fits into your real life — not an idealized version of you
Healing becomes something you experience, not something you manage.
From Fixing to Listening
When we stop trying to fix ourselves, something surprising happens: the body starts to speak more clearly.
Instead of asking:
“What tool should I do next?”
The question becomes:
“What does my system need right now — and how little can I do while still supporting it?”
That shift — from intensity to attunement — is where real, lasting change happens.
Healing Is Not a Performance
You don’t heal by doing more.
You heal by doing what’s appropriate, at a pace your nervous system can actually integrate.
If you’ve been trying everything and still feel stuck, it may not be because you’re failing — it may be because your system needs less pressure and more precision.
Somatic stacking™ isn’t about doing it all.
It’s about doing what fits — and letting healing unfold without force. It’s about trying softer, gentler.
Ready for support?
I work with functioning adults (and teens) who feel anxious, overwhelmed, stuck, disconnected, or “not like themselves,” especially after childhood, sexual, relational, or complex trauma.
Together, we help you:
regulate your nervous system
break out of old trauma patterns
feel safe, grounded, and connected
reconnect with your authentic self
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by healing or unsure which tools actually support your nervous system, working from your own curated Somatic Stack™ may finally offer clarity and relief to your nervous system.
